Saturday, January 7, 2017


Someone says
"Lavinia's catering" and
everyone laughs it's
hard to understand because
Lavinia's a professor, respected;
I'm 12 and get asked if I'm
7 I understand that now a
person in "the arts" can't tell
how old a child is with all the
connection to the inner child
going on they might say
"are you an enlightened 40"
is what he meant, he was
feeling 7 as a person "in the arts"
I'm sorry Lavinia I'm sure
you're a good cook I guess
"catering's" an inside joke
between everyone when I was
12 my feminism was
uncompromising now I
see nuance so maybe it wasn't
disrespectful after all
I'm just an office slob
"in the arts" the nurture of
inner children in the art office is
rote at best everyone there might
think I'm 13 because I look
embarrassed in the bathroom
but it's my art practice being
vulnerable that way maybe
Lavinia wasn't as vulnerable
anymore being a professor so
it was an acting exercise everyone was
doing the kind that deconstructs
the ego so everyone can be
7 like i should have been but
that's why people like me, my mother
turn away in the end but maybe I'll
be able to retire some day

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