fight / write and dream

i hold my pen in my right hand
connect to the page like a tree trunk

connects to the earth
thoughts thunder down

crash through my pounding head
words that make me wanna scream / and cry
and thrash against rock

rain
water

life

freedom

i claw / hold my pen in my right hand
connect to the time i was made to learn

by the force of godless nuns
oh what fun

joy
joy

how to write
a little brown girl with braids

peeking over my twin sister's desk at school
nonchalant / cool

trying hard to not get caught
stealth

had to look behind me
we sat in alphabetical order

drag

six years old / couldn't spell my last name
to save my life

writing was a chore

something that required deep
deep concentration

drawing my antidote
to a frustrated compromise

drawing / sweet freedom
didn't have to think

just express
just be

confusion between the right and left lobes
of my brain

and decades later / i fight myself

i am compelled to write
and dream / of painting.