DOMESTIC BLISS

I keep saying it as a joke but not a joke
like a hashtag
I've been like this before
turning the heat up
putting on more lotion
finding the right jar for the job.
what's more satisfying --
bringing home the thing you need (for a good price)
or boxing up the thing you don't need
and taking it away?
whatever happens we say it might be the last time
and that makes us happy
like when we were kids and time meant
nothing and everything
but we couldn't grasp it.
always lowering a basket out the window
or climbing a tree like we were trying.
now we're here between flannel sheets
heart swelling to start a load of laundry
or drink a cup of coffee while watering the plants .

Interviewing

She’s got age

up her sleeve,

wrinkles and loose hanging skin

stuffed into her peacoat pocket–

folded next to well-worn hankies.

Drinking coffee from her mug before

the interview. Staring at the peonies, how faded

their pink has become. From the sun

coming in through the curtain she doesn't close.

In a knee-length pencil skirt with hose

collecting at her ankles. No runs,

not yet. Careful to ease around the couch,

avoid coffee table corners that would

easily snag and quash this one last

desperate shot at work.

RUSTY

there’s Bridget Jones, there’s Suicide Squad
Joker says I’ve got grape soda on ice
and a bear skin rug, waiting 

how to not write a poem about the one you’re with
how to not write a poem about the one you used to be

in the photo V’s pony white hair is timeless
her breasts like compressed fruit

now return to old scammer’s high
succumbing more to trots than truth

“some people are so weird”, dad says
then explains the ways they aren’t

poem 1 day 2

it is gross out there
trying to get over it

the fleece socks my friend gave me before moving slide down in my boots
it reminds me of the problems of childhood
i haven't had this problem in years, i think

some things in the list are left undone.
perhaps my space needs to be clearer
or perhaps it is procrastination
but there were a lot of things that happened before five

and it is important to remember that the nightmares take time to get over
and the day needs to shower

its gross out there
but moving along

Cloth

Thumbing the evening down to the seagulls, feather crust, gumming chunks, crumb.
Shite-y artefacts of a meal royally deconstructed.
For the best case,
living inside and out of it,
I'm moving towards when I'll finally get laid open
and, clattered by the kids,
looking up to see who has passed,
I'll have been run through, clutching my bare shin in agony.

Deep storage

Our stomachs were grumbling up against each other in the midnight light
And I hoped you were gathering memories of how I nourished you
Storing them deep in fat cells and synapses
To be mostly forgotten
And remembered only in some vague way
In an appreciation of cycles on a winter walk
Or in the feeling of a hammock softly pressing back up against you
leaving you free to admire the green and the sky
floating above it all

5 Poems in 1

i.

like a seed sprouting in the dark / grateful
to be alive / to begin anew/ to celebrate

the first new day of the new year under the sun
to become / always to become

ii
my first poetic lines of 2017
got me thinkin long and hard
about the past / and the older i get
the faster time flies
and sometimes
it seems it ain't gonna last long
especially when i look into a loved ones eyes
and realize i ain't that strong
cuz i dread the thought losin another
like a father or brother
a sister or a friend or another mother
cuz time keeps passing and all things
must come to an end
but mami always said
never mourn the living/only the dead
and so i  try not to dwell on sad thoughts

iii

i taste moonlight slivers and magic
cup the molecules of this precious cosmic moment
i laugh hard when i laugh
and run / feel the wind in my lungs
celebrate i'm alive / i'm fuckin alive
and if i choose to press play and
muse on the past on this day
i choose to listen to the songs sade

iv.

"nevah as good as the first time"

yessss i choose to groove to the sax
the boomin basslines of
my own version glory dayz
and soulfully sing along
press play in my nostalgic mind
remember the sweetest orgasmic moments
of my time... groove in the past....

"you give me,  you're giving the sweetest taboo
that is why i'm in love with you...."

oh sade singin her oh so soulful and sexy way
voice all velvet and silky sweetness
so i can sing along / wrap myself
in my own arms / and forget

"you've got the biggest heart
sometimes i think you're just too good for me
every day is Christmas, and every night is New Year's Eve
will you keep on loving me
will you keep on, will you keep on
bringing out the best in me..."

remind me
to forget
to listen to more
music from back in the day

remind me to forget
and stay in the present

create future orgasmic
juicy moments

live

v.

begin anew

poem #1

days broken
up with egg sandwiches and binge-watching television shows you don't even like all that much
then
walking the dog and picking up the poop 
on the sidewalk covered in everyone else's dog poop and oxtail and chicken bones
and this is the time of new beginnings
but it's more of the old
going to parties you weren't really invited to
not sure if anyone really likes you or ever did
back to a job you once liked but can't seem to enjoy much anymore
thinking maybe it's time to leave this place
then you can have your time for new beginnings
and clean sidewalks